Happily Ever After does exist.

A few nights ago Derrick and I found ourselves watching True Tori. (Really it was me hiding the remote so I could watch it... lol) But in mid sentence  Derrick looks at me and states " this is so sad... I am so sorry."  His eyes were weepy and sad. If you haven't been watching Life Time Tori is documenting the battles you go through when deceit has entered your relationship. I think it is so powerful of her to show this to the world not every relationship is perfect but when it worth fighting for it truly is worth the battle.

Flash back 5 years ago. I never thought happily ever after could exist. I had just left a pretty abusive relationship and returned back to Iraq. Looking to find myself, and my confidence. Derrick had been in Iraq he was confident and funny always the life of the party. When we started to talk he had told me about a girl back home that he use to date, she pretty much chose not to wait for him. How it hurt him. I told him about the violent relationship I had just left. As we talked and hung out more. It was so beyond funny but he was literally my next door neighbor back home... He lived a few houses away and I use to run by his house everyday watching him and his friends sitting around drinking playing some silly game called beer dye. My heart just fell for him. How could any smart women reject him, not wait for him, treat him like he wasn't worth it..... Because wow he was so WORTH IT.

We fell madly in love in Iraq. We spent hours playing rummy and uno. He was my best friend my everything. He helped me cope with the loss of my friend Sam Stone in Iraq. He was patient with me. When we returned back to the US life was wonderful. He was my prince charming my everything. Our 1 year anniversary was approaching fast. This girl that hurt him now wanted to be his friend again. She only wanted what she couldn't have. I knew it was no good. but I came from a very controlling past relationship so I gave him all my trust all my heart and chose not to control this situation. Even though it hurt so bad to know where it was headed I had to trust him. On my birthday these people chose to hurt me more then anyone could ever hurt someone. They chose to wreck my fairy tale. After pretty much shoving shots down his throat he disappeared for the night..... I knew in my heart what they were doing. They saw a threat and had to destroy me. He woke up in is friends front yard had no idea what had happened. a week later he found out the truth and left me. He left me for a girl who couldn't wait for him. A GAME.




It took alot of soul searching to understand what happened where it all went wrong. How  it wasn't my fault. It wasn't that I wasn't skinny enough, or pretty enough. I had to learn that GOOD people don't walk around destroying people because they can. It is people who are so damaged and hateful that do that. So I just continued to be me, moved into a house with a bunch of great girls and began to rebuild myself. How could someone love me if I didn't love myself. I chose to forgive these girls my hate for them would only hurt me in the end. Derrick however started to see them for who they really were, he took off these rose colored glasses. He  was devastated that he hurt me. That we were destroyed, he begged for forgiveness, the only way I could do that was if he told the truth all of the truth and said good bye forever to those people. I gave him 3 days to decide or to walk away. I knew he was sorry but we needed to start new that relationship the one we once had was gone but it was FATE that I ran by his house daily for a year before we met. It was me pushing him to succeed to be the best in school ( he graduated top of his major with a 3.998 from CWU)

Day 3 rolled around and he told everything every horrible detail that broke my heart and we started a new, I was hurt for a long time I would never ever forget what happened to me on my birthday that I befriended these people with an open heart to become their little joke. Here is the thing tho, when you forgive you have to let go. I forgave and moved on. with in 6 months we were happily engaged and planning our dream wedding. 3 months into our engagement we were expecting our daughter Lilah. Now the road we chose to travel wasn't easy and there were nights I cried myself to sleep, but it was so worth it. I have been completely madly in love with him for 5 years now and even with that horrible accident I still love him as much if not more. He makes my heart skip a beat. He makes me feel like a teenage girl staring at him while he mows the lawn shirt less.... Sorry TMI. He is my soul mate and even when he gets completely on my nerves I love him.

So after the show he looked at me  baffled and told me I don't know how you are so strong and forgiving. I stared at him and said its because I love you. I love you for you and every fault you have. I know you will never walk that dirty road again. I trust you. Yes it was hard but it was so worth it. Jesus forgave me of my sins and every rotten thing I have done so its my calling to forgive them for what they did to me.

So yes I think Tori can work it out with Dean but it will hurt and be painful, she will feel her heart ripped out and left on the floor, but after time every broken piece will get glued back together slowly but it will happen. It will mend and the heart will grow bigger than before. You will learn a new type of love, a love you never knew that existed a compassion and forgiving heart.

Some say I am a fool but he is my everything. I may dislike my birthday but I don't let it destroy me. I am stronger then I ever knew I was. OUR FAIRY TALE  is still alive and passionate and amazing. Our love is so warm and trusting you would never known that it took a tiny fall for a whole 30 days.

IN LOVE (two baby must haves)

Okay I have never really done a review on a product but this product is it for me! I am soooooo in LOVE! Britt one of my friends opened this adorable shop on etsy. She is the most skilled sewing person I know. (yes incorrect grammar it is from excitement)

Se La V Baby

So for over 6 months she has listened to me rant about trying to find the most darling binky leash for Kaylie. Mind you I have like 6 and I just couldn't find one that could go with everyday outfits. If anyone knows me they know I am a style freak. I love to dress my girls up in the most darling outfits / fashionista way possible!

So she called me and was like "Hey I have an Idea!" She sent me photos knowing that I am a pearl freak I love how classy they are. She designed like 10 cute ADORABLE  leashes over night! 6 months of searching finally  came to an end I had to buy one! Etsy said like 5 days to ship or something. Britt was fast I had my package in less than 3 days!!! That never happens!!! She has had so many orders she spends most of her time creating and shipping.

When I got the leash I was first you know normal mom moment inspecting to see how safe it is..... I give it a 8/10 which is GREAT! since I never have found a product I like 10/10 yet!

Lilah tested the stability (mind you my child could destroy something fragile in 2 minutes flat!) Nothing! It was perfect. So I hooked it up to Kaylie's binkie and she loves it. The texture she just has to constantly play with it. She wears it every sunday with dresses I can leave it out and she can play with it. I just love it! The clip is hidden by a beautiful flower!

Best part it was only 19$   Use the promo code at the bottom of the post and get it for only $17!!! What a deal huh!!!!  I spent like 12$ on the dinky ones from NUK so enough said I HAD TO BUY IT! So if you have a binky kid like me and you want it still look cute I highly recommend getting this

.



Okay So I am a total sucker for cute packaging! Isn't that super cute! It makes me feel like I am opening presents!!!

So my next MUST HAVE!!!! Is her baby wrap. Britt and I have had multiple talks about how much we hate grocery store carts because of the NASTY clips in the baby seat, same with restaurants! So she came up with this awesome wrap which I am in love with! It is so tiny and so simple! It give way more support for little babies backs then those silly "seat belt clips" on store shopping carts. We also use ours at restaurants it fits perfect!

Not only does it fit perfect but look how small it is! It  goes in the same pocket as the diaper changing mat. No extra bulk in the main portion of my diaper bag. Its so simple that My husband grabs it every time he leaves to go to the store with Kaylie  since its that small and with all the different designs he doesn't feel too girly carrying it. 

~SIMPLE~ 

 Her prices are amazing and not expensive! The wrap is only $20. The pink cart protector I bought at Walmart for like + $25 and Look how bulk that thing is I hate that thing carrying it was impossible but with Britt's design I  recommend this to everyone with kids! I know car seats are heavy and other cart protectors are bulk this is simple and safe!

But here is the best PERK!!! Discount promo code for MAY only!!! Get $2 off!!! so less than $18 dollars for this wrap this by far beats Walmart cost!

Promo code: LAWKImay5
SE LA V Baby

(Not everything is for girls!)

OHHH and for little boys check out how cute this is!!! I need this one! 

Look how happy Kaylie is without those straps pulling at her chest. and the million of kids who sucked on them ICKY!!! I love this and it has Velcro so it grows with her!!! Way more support for her back she isn't slouched and flopping around. 

Lesson 2 Don't RUSH

Do not  rush yourself!!! Couponing isn't as easy as just pulling out your debit card and swiping, paying, getting a receipt, and walking away.

It very important that you don't let people rush you.

 First check out math always!!! You need to know what will be the final cost why.... because it is YOUR MONEY!!!

Second verify every coupon is not expired, and the limit and guidelines match that stores policy. ( WHY? because most tellers never really see coupons and when they do they assume the photo is the only thing that qualifies, but it is not! read the fine print if it says ANY product of a specific brand. you most likely will get it less than a  dollar if not free ) We love that word FREE!

#3 IT IS YOUR MONEY!!! so ignore the person behind you that is frustrated that it might take you 30 minutes to get through check out but here is the thing, you might only get paid 8$ an hour or 10$ an hour that is your money so why over pay. That person behind you will not go to work for you and pay the extra costs that come when your not fully focused on the cash register. Don't be afraid to ask for a print out to double check math when the totals are off. Tell the people behind you that if they are in a hurry they might want to use a different check out lane.

#4 ask for a manager if a coupon is not working, many times a teller doesn't want to deal with manager keys and manual input but seriously its worth the wait. ( I have found multiple tellers that are just going to deny that coupon because they are in a hurry and don't want to wait on a manager. That is against most coupon policies!)

Great example last night I went on a run to get some items that were out of stock earlier that day. I had a list of stuff I needed to see if it was back in stock. This list consisted of 22 items that at full retail price could be an upwards of $96. After the cashier had rang up most of my coupons I had 5 dollars off in coupons in my hand but the total was $35 I was freaking out! so I had him print the receipt turns out. I had to take 10 minutes to go through all the items. Turns out  he had double rung me up for 4 raid fly strip packages instead of 2 and rang up 3 razors instead of 1. See it checks to do your math!  Total price I spent was $16.21
BAM! 

#5 choose a time that wont be a burden. I can go with the girls but I need to have a strict list and location and everything organized to a T!  but if Derrick is home I will leave after everyone is in bed. 8:30 night time after kisses and stories with the girls and then poof I am in my couponing room  double checking prices, coupons, what is on the online blogs. I left at like 10 pm and shopped compared prices all night till about 1 am. Now mind you with no children to rush you it is a lot of peace and quiet. Plus STORES love you when you do it in the middle of the night, no people lined up behind you no rushing, and they are normally doing stock so you can get your hands on the items that are normally gone in the afternoon.

HERE is your prize for reading!

So go get your free Raid fly strips!

$2 off any raid product

Fly strips $1.97 for a package of 10 giving you it for FREE with  $0.03 overage 

How to become a productive couponer! Lesson 1

Lesson 1

Couponing doesn't need to be stressful or overwhelming! When you know what you are looking for patience is the key to success!
The difference between couponing and grocery shopping is:

Grocery shopping is

• Random
• List but not detail specific
• You buy 1 or two items enough to last the week.
• You most likely will buy things on a whim
• You always feel like 5 days after a trip you don't have any food.
• You might be letting food waste or going for easy fixes
• If the zombies come you will be the first to leave home to scavenge for food :)

Couponing is                                                

• Deliberate                                                        
• Specific List with prices and cost                     
• You buy at lowest cost possible and enough to last till the next major sale
• You sometimes buy enough to last a year.....(Yes I haven't had to buy deodorant or razors in two years)
• You don't add anything to your list with our checking the numbers, prices, and final cost 3 times.
• Your husband cuts you off from buying certain items since you no longer have room for them.
• You have enough to make a meal on a whim whether from scratch or box
• When the zombies come you are prepared for the long haul

It is that simple that everyone should coupon! When I see something I want at the store I first search my whole binder if I have a coupon... if I don't most likely I wont get it but if its an item that is $1 or 2 then I go through my budget again and see if it will fit in with my weekly budget or if it can wait till next week.

WE ARE NOT RICH by any means! This is not to gloat it is to motivate you to save money! I'm a Stay at home mom. I do not have an income but I get a weekly spending "allowance" from my wonderful hubby it ranges from 40 to 50 dollars a week. ( but this  mainly for couponing.) The only money we use for groceries is for 

eggs

milk

bread

Yes that is right I am feeding a family of 4 for less than $200 a month!!! ( INCLUDING diapers and formula!!!) 

So now you need to make a list of items you use any given day of the week through out the whole year! Mine looks like this. 

I then search local blogs and price match items I am in need of such as dinner supplies. I find the best deal possible and yes sometimes I go two 3 stores in 1 day (AKA LAST NIGHT) but I get all the items at rock bottom prices. 

I next use a spread sheet to track how many coupons per transaction and go through the costs again. Yes again!

I keep a running number on all my items in my stockpile and I am patient to wait till another sale to re buy that item. So this Sunday go get a couple copies of the paper and get your clipping on!

My stock pile is very small compared to what it was! 

Make sure to subscribe Happy Clippings!

Walmart deals 4/23/2014

Okay so my email box has been flooded with people wanting to learn to coupon. So I decided to blog this weeks trip with some tips.

My personal rules are .75 cents or less its for me especially if it is free!

You need to make your own rules and if you have stores that double coupons that will help but today I decided to show you the deals I get on a weekly basis without doubling. So these are simple deals you all can get.

Make sure to always print two coupons :) so you can maximize your savings.

Let me do the hard work for you!

Ajax detergent -  Walmart price 2.50$..........Coupon $2/1........  $ 0.50 Each HOT HOT DEAL

 Ajax coupon 2/1

Thanks
The Wally World Woman

7up 10 products  Walmart price $1.00...........coupon $1.50/2........ $ 0.25 Each HOT HOT DEAL!

7up $1.50 off 2

Hawaiian Punch Walmart price 2.25................. Coupon $1.00/ 1......... $1.25 each Great deal ( with kids always drinking some sort of juice)

Hawaiian punch

Before Coupons you would be paying $15.75 with out tax
After coupons I paid $5.75

SEE HOW EASY IT IS!

This trip was 35 minutes with check out so the kids were beyond happy!

Kaylies stinking cute baby safety harness so we don't use nasty clips :)

Next thing you need to do is follow other couponer blogs that way you don't always have to do the hard part in finding all the deals and matching them to coupons.

ALSO please don't forget to subscribe to my blog and price match anything you want to but at Walmart with your local circular ads.


Okay Utah county double couponing at Walmart and Ridleys!
Same deals up top of course

but instead of 4 7up 10's you can get 8! They have a $0.50/2 coupon which doubles
Walmart price again $1  with  $0.50/2 (X2).... turns into $1 off 2.... Final price $0.50 each HOT
.50/ 2 printable

Hungry jack Hashbrowns potatoes I forgot to add them to the photo but I stock up every Wednesday!

Don't know why the photo comes in side ways lol  but it does.  These are in the box food aisle
Walmart price $1.25 coupon ..... $0.50 off 1 (X2)  makes it $1 off ..... final price $0.25 each 

 Printable on www.coupons.com

Lucky charms 2.62 (ridleys has them for 2.42 each when you buy 2 )
Coupon 0.50 off 1 box (X2)  ....$1 off  making them $1.62 or less! HOT DEAL
Lucky charms printable
Total price with out coupons - $27.49

I paid $11.49

Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit?

 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3–4

Oh this journey is never ending. I find myself mastering one thing and 10 more things pop up that I need to work on. Being a wife can be hard but it a joy too. Don't get me wrong I love being a wife but in the last year I have been striving to be a wife of the Word not a wife of the World. This is a hard thing because we see it all the time being a wife as a status rather than the actual task and role of being a wife. This can cause stress in the marriage and as a person who always seeks self improvement, I have read probably 20 different things on improving our marriage rather than nipping the real issue in the butt. The book and advise I was seeking, was right in front of me and once again overlooked it. Until the night Derrick and I had a  huge fight over nothing. It was so petty. It was  God was shaking our house saying LOOK CLOSER!! So the next day I called our church to see if our pastor had time too talk to us.

The answer was right in front of our faces instead of looking to others, self help books, and articles on marriage. We should of been looking in the Bible. We should of been seeking help from God, not others. As a person who has studied many different types of relationships, marriage classes, communication classes, and family development. I feel that I sometimes forget that God and his word is what I need to focus on. So we started  to discuss what we viewed as a huge problem ( turned into being such a small problem.) Our pastor started talking about leading and Derricks job as the leader of the house. How God commands him to love me all the time, everyday, whether I am moody or the house isn't perfect. Commanding Derrick to love me! How wonderful is that. Then we moved to me, and talked about me respecting my husband everyday, every single day, whether his day is rough and he might be grumpy, or he is sick and tired. I need to respect him.

Pastor Sam talked about how women and men are different, my favorite example he used is men are like a coffee thermos, when they drink out of them driving they just chuck the thermos in the back of the car when they are finished. Why? because men are strong, sturdy and they are made different. Women are like a wine glass we are fragile and need to be treated different more gentle, loving and special. Why? because we are different. You don't just drink coffee out of a wine glass driving down the road and when you finish chuck it in the back of the car. Why? because it would break! Wine glasses are placed in a special place so they don't break.


So breaking down further into our tiny issues, I realized that where I thrive at is taking care of our children, cooking, and cleaning. But I fall short in organization which is something Derrick needs. Something my husband needs! Let me say this again HE NEEDS. I just felt he was "nagging" at me for nothing. I never thought about it as some thing he saw as a respect issue. He needs his home to be a safe haven from the world. A place he arrives home and feels relaxing. This at first felt like he was  attacking me as a Wife and a Mother. It felt insulting. I knew in my heart that it was me being disrespectful. We talked about how him showing me constant love would lower my ability to be hostile to be upset, me showing him constant respect and making sure what he feels as a priority gets accomplished. I thought this must be a joke but I will do it I want us to be happy and not bickering at each other constantly. I love my husband and I want him to feel love and respect and I want to feel the same way. We came up with a game plan to explore working on more love and more respect and of course more prayer and more God. I am a strong believer that counseling is good, its not a sign of the weak. We need to seek help when we see even the smallest issue because it could burst into something worse. Such as hidden sin but that's for another post.

Derrick made some huge changes making sure to communicate love to me. Which gave me no reason to complain because he was being so kind and loving. ( He brought me flowers he kisses me first when he comes home. He holds my hand in public. He tells me every morning night and afternoon how much he loves me.) We both were watching our tongue  what we said. Taking a second to think is this loving is this respectful? Things for us couldn't be better! We are completely happy but it took change, it took humbling ourselves and living less prideful. It took us putting God first and then each other.

A wise woman builds up her husband, but a foolish one tears him down.
Proverbs 14:1

The truth was I was not being gentle and quiet in a way that would communicate the right way to God and my husband. Since this all happened I have made some great changes in my life.

1. I pray every morning for my husband. I pray that the world won't hinder his spirit. That he will strive and excel in the way the Lord intends.

2. I pray for our family.

3. I make the bed, I work harder than ever before to make sure each room is picked up constantly. To create a warm environment that all will feel peace and comfort when visiting. (this is hard with two little ones running around  that are under age 3) It is possible.

4. I have devoted at least 15 minutes to an hour every night to study the word of god and read.

5. I deleted instagram, twitter and Facebook off my phone. I still use social media but only in my office so that minimal time is devoted to the outside world. With this I found myself with more time, I didn't realize that social media was robbing my family of my time. (Derricks biggest pet peeve was if I was looking at my phone) So poof I eliminated the source of conflict.

6. I Made big changes to focusing our house on God and less focus on the world.

7. We started to say our prayers before bed. ( this has been so much fun for Lilah she just loves saying her prayers.)

8. Eliminating many cartoons I allowed the girls to watch to just Disney movies and veggie tales. (Keeping less of the world out of our house.)

9. Stopped yelling ( This one is hard because I found myself raising my voice when I was stressed this isn't kind or loving) Yelling is a sin. It is speaking with rage, even if it is a little moment.  This is a constant thing I have to repeat to myself. I have to remind myself that being gentle and quiet doesn't make me an ineffective parent it makes me a better parent and a better wife.

10. Choosing my battles, is it worth it? is it respectful? Is it kind? is it that important? or is it just my pride getting in the way?




So if anyone is having the same type of issues a great chapter to read in the Bible is Proverbs 31. It is amazing it is like a how too for women. I have taken this last month and been reading all of proverbs and this book has so many key things we deal with in day to day life in this world.

How does she do it?

Single parents really don't get enough credit. I could never imagine being a single mother. How hard it would be.  I was raised by a single mother and everyday she gave it everything she had. It takes every ounce of strength to do it on your own. There is so much we never think about, when parenting with two parents that they have to do every day by themselves.

I had my first taste of single parenting last spring. As many of you know my husband travels for work and luckily we get him to ourselves Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. I never imagine what it would be like with out him at home. First off I am scared of the dark.... so yeah every light is on when he is gone.  Second I am deathly afraid of spiders so yeah mommy verse spider we will all die and be eaten alive by them. Next I never knew how stinking hard it would be to take a shower.... Okay, so I am still baffled how single moms do it and look amazing, I have no idea how they do it. I swear from April till October I never pooped alone, let alone straighten my hair.... It was rough season.... I was not looking my best.

Having a  second child made it impossible to breathe.  The vast amount of house work, and normal daily tasks at hand are draining. I literally felt exhausted after the first week... so coffee and diet coke became my best friend. Praying for the strength and energy just to make it till bed time. These thing I never imagined how hard they would be. I never thought at the end of the day I couldn't say "Hey babe can you bathe the babies for me?" He wasn't home there was no one else that was going to help me. No one to watch the kids for a bit while I take a mommy breather no one to say "Hey love I will watch one of the kids so you can go to the store with out utter chaos." No one to help until the weekend but even then with all of his traveling he was exhausted. I would be too if my flight arrived at 11 pm Friday night and being jet lagged all day Saturday and Sunday church then some family time. Then 5 am Monday morning  back on a plane. It would be extremely exhausting.

My days became more then I ever imagined. It was nothing like I had pictured two kids to be. It was rough having Kaylie as a newborn juggling pediatric visits at Primary Children Hospital, breast feeding and waking up every two hours put my body threw the ringer. From 7 am on Lilah was exploring her world with coloring, being a big sister and playing hard all day every day. It was rough it was a miracle if I could get both babies to nap at the same time. It was always a debate whether to take a shower or a nap. I was beyond exhausted. Trying to never loose my temper because I was tired, was like a flip of a coin. Counting back from 10 turned into counting back from 100. The dream of having a large family began to tremble in my mind. How can I do this? I was extremely scared of what each day would hold. As time went by it got a little easier with feeding times getting further apart I found myself able to get more things done.

I think the hardest part is explaining to Lilah where daddy is and why he is at work. How wonderful he is to support us to make the sacrifice to work so much. To make the ultimate sacrifice and stay in the military. I know that even though she doesn't understand now, she will one day. I long for November till march when I get my husband every day of the week besides when the military gets him. I never knew how much I took advantage and took for granite the time we spend together.

With technology now days facetime and frequent calls it does make it easier then it would of been in the past. I miss him, and sometimes I want a slow down moment. Sometimes I want a romantic weekend with just the two of us but life isn't fair. The time spent with the girls is more of a priority right now. These are many of the reasons I do not work. I can't imagine putting the stress of  Daddy's work and adding in a job for me on the girls. I think it would create some separation anxiety for them with all his traveling. It is hard to put my career on hold but its worth it.


Now days every time I hear someone speak of oh "She's a single mom or dad" I always speak up.... You have no idea how hard their life is and how rewarding it is to be their kids hero! I have this amazing friend that gave me strength in our transition. A proud mother of three she taught me the meaning of multitasking. She gave me hope that it will all be okay. She taught me about balance that I can dedicate time to myself and still be a good mother to my girls. She  looked amazing hair and all, with three beautiful kiddos. Her strength and patience taught me a lot about myself.  I am not that strong, I am only one person but with the help of God, family, and friends they make me a stronger better person when I feel weak and I am forever thankful and grateful for all their help.






Dedicated to my family, husband and Cassie Borders.