Happily Ever After does exist.

A few nights ago Derrick and I found ourselves watching True Tori. (Really it was me hiding the remote so I could watch it... lol) But in mid sentence  Derrick looks at me and states " this is so sad... I am so sorry."  His eyes were weepy and sad. If you haven't been watching Life Time Tori is documenting the battles you go through when deceit has entered your relationship. I think it is so powerful of her to show this to the world not every relationship is perfect but when it worth fighting for it truly is worth the battle.

Flash back 5 years ago. I never thought happily ever after could exist. I had just left a pretty abusive relationship and returned back to Iraq. Looking to find myself, and my confidence. Derrick had been in Iraq he was confident and funny always the life of the party. When we started to talk he had told me about a girl back home that he use to date, she pretty much chose not to wait for him. How it hurt him. I told him about the violent relationship I had just left. As we talked and hung out more. It was so beyond funny but he was literally my next door neighbor back home... He lived a few houses away and I use to run by his house everyday watching him and his friends sitting around drinking playing some silly game called beer dye. My heart just fell for him. How could any smart women reject him, not wait for him, treat him like he wasn't worth it..... Because wow he was so WORTH IT.

We fell madly in love in Iraq. We spent hours playing rummy and uno. He was my best friend my everything. He helped me cope with the loss of my friend Sam Stone in Iraq. He was patient with me. When we returned back to the US life was wonderful. He was my prince charming my everything. Our 1 year anniversary was approaching fast. This girl that hurt him now wanted to be his friend again. She only wanted what she couldn't have. I knew it was no good. but I came from a very controlling past relationship so I gave him all my trust all my heart and chose not to control this situation. Even though it hurt so bad to know where it was headed I had to trust him. On my birthday these people chose to hurt me more then anyone could ever hurt someone. They chose to wreck my fairy tale. After pretty much shoving shots down his throat he disappeared for the night..... I knew in my heart what they were doing. They saw a threat and had to destroy me. He woke up in is friends front yard had no idea what had happened. a week later he found out the truth and left me. He left me for a girl who couldn't wait for him. A GAME.




It took alot of soul searching to understand what happened where it all went wrong. How  it wasn't my fault. It wasn't that I wasn't skinny enough, or pretty enough. I had to learn that GOOD people don't walk around destroying people because they can. It is people who are so damaged and hateful that do that. So I just continued to be me, moved into a house with a bunch of great girls and began to rebuild myself. How could someone love me if I didn't love myself. I chose to forgive these girls my hate for them would only hurt me in the end. Derrick however started to see them for who they really were, he took off these rose colored glasses. He  was devastated that he hurt me. That we were destroyed, he begged for forgiveness, the only way I could do that was if he told the truth all of the truth and said good bye forever to those people. I gave him 3 days to decide or to walk away. I knew he was sorry but we needed to start new that relationship the one we once had was gone but it was FATE that I ran by his house daily for a year before we met. It was me pushing him to succeed to be the best in school ( he graduated top of his major with a 3.998 from CWU)

Day 3 rolled around and he told everything every horrible detail that broke my heart and we started a new, I was hurt for a long time I would never ever forget what happened to me on my birthday that I befriended these people with an open heart to become their little joke. Here is the thing tho, when you forgive you have to let go. I forgave and moved on. with in 6 months we were happily engaged and planning our dream wedding. 3 months into our engagement we were expecting our daughter Lilah. Now the road we chose to travel wasn't easy and there were nights I cried myself to sleep, but it was so worth it. I have been completely madly in love with him for 5 years now and even with that horrible accident I still love him as much if not more. He makes my heart skip a beat. He makes me feel like a teenage girl staring at him while he mows the lawn shirt less.... Sorry TMI. He is my soul mate and even when he gets completely on my nerves I love him.

So after the show he looked at me  baffled and told me I don't know how you are so strong and forgiving. I stared at him and said its because I love you. I love you for you and every fault you have. I know you will never walk that dirty road again. I trust you. Yes it was hard but it was so worth it. Jesus forgave me of my sins and every rotten thing I have done so its my calling to forgive them for what they did to me.

So yes I think Tori can work it out with Dean but it will hurt and be painful, she will feel her heart ripped out and left on the floor, but after time every broken piece will get glued back together slowly but it will happen. It will mend and the heart will grow bigger than before. You will learn a new type of love, a love you never knew that existed a compassion and forgiving heart.

Some say I am a fool but he is my everything. I may dislike my birthday but I don't let it destroy me. I am stronger then I ever knew I was. OUR FAIRY TALE  is still alive and passionate and amazing. Our love is so warm and trusting you would never known that it took a tiny fall for a whole 30 days.

IN LOVE (two baby must haves)

Okay I have never really done a review on a product but this product is it for me! I am soooooo in LOVE! Britt one of my friends opened this adorable shop on etsy. She is the most skilled sewing person I know. (yes incorrect grammar it is from excitement)

Se La V Baby

So for over 6 months she has listened to me rant about trying to find the most darling binky leash for Kaylie. Mind you I have like 6 and I just couldn't find one that could go with everyday outfits. If anyone knows me they know I am a style freak. I love to dress my girls up in the most darling outfits / fashionista way possible!

So she called me and was like "Hey I have an Idea!" She sent me photos knowing that I am a pearl freak I love how classy they are. She designed like 10 cute ADORABLE  leashes over night! 6 months of searching finally  came to an end I had to buy one! Etsy said like 5 days to ship or something. Britt was fast I had my package in less than 3 days!!! That never happens!!! She has had so many orders she spends most of her time creating and shipping.

When I got the leash I was first you know normal mom moment inspecting to see how safe it is..... I give it a 8/10 which is GREAT! since I never have found a product I like 10/10 yet!

Lilah tested the stability (mind you my child could destroy something fragile in 2 minutes flat!) Nothing! It was perfect. So I hooked it up to Kaylie's binkie and she loves it. The texture she just has to constantly play with it. She wears it every sunday with dresses I can leave it out and she can play with it. I just love it! The clip is hidden by a beautiful flower!

Best part it was only 19$   Use the promo code at the bottom of the post and get it for only $17!!! What a deal huh!!!!  I spent like 12$ on the dinky ones from NUK so enough said I HAD TO BUY IT! So if you have a binky kid like me and you want it still look cute I highly recommend getting this

.



Okay So I am a total sucker for cute packaging! Isn't that super cute! It makes me feel like I am opening presents!!!

So my next MUST HAVE!!!! Is her baby wrap. Britt and I have had multiple talks about how much we hate grocery store carts because of the NASTY clips in the baby seat, same with restaurants! So she came up with this awesome wrap which I am in love with! It is so tiny and so simple! It give way more support for little babies backs then those silly "seat belt clips" on store shopping carts. We also use ours at restaurants it fits perfect!

Not only does it fit perfect but look how small it is! It  goes in the same pocket as the diaper changing mat. No extra bulk in the main portion of my diaper bag. Its so simple that My husband grabs it every time he leaves to go to the store with Kaylie  since its that small and with all the different designs he doesn't feel too girly carrying it. 

~SIMPLE~ 

 Her prices are amazing and not expensive! The wrap is only $20. The pink cart protector I bought at Walmart for like + $25 and Look how bulk that thing is I hate that thing carrying it was impossible but with Britt's design I  recommend this to everyone with kids! I know car seats are heavy and other cart protectors are bulk this is simple and safe!

But here is the best PERK!!! Discount promo code for MAY only!!! Get $2 off!!! so less than $18 dollars for this wrap this by far beats Walmart cost!

Promo code: LAWKImay5
SE LA V Baby

(Not everything is for girls!)

OHHH and for little boys check out how cute this is!!! I need this one! 

Look how happy Kaylie is without those straps pulling at her chest. and the million of kids who sucked on them ICKY!!! I love this and it has Velcro so it grows with her!!! Way more support for her back she isn't slouched and flopping around.