Flash back 5 years ago. I never thought happily ever after could exist. I had just left a pretty abusive relationship and returned back to Iraq. Looking to find myself, and my confidence. Derrick had been in Iraq he was confident and funny always the life of the party. When we started to talk he had told me about a girl back home that he use to date, she pretty much chose not to wait for him. How it hurt him. I told him about the violent relationship I had just left. As we talked and hung out more. It was so beyond funny but he was literally my next door neighbor back home... He lived a few houses away and I use to run by his house everyday watching him and his friends sitting around drinking playing some silly game called beer dye. My heart just fell for him. How could any smart women reject him, not wait for him, treat him like he wasn't worth it..... Because wow he was so WORTH IT.
We fell madly in love in Iraq. We spent hours playing rummy and uno. He was my best friend my everything. He helped me cope with the loss of my friend Sam Stone in Iraq. He was patient with me. When we returned back to the US life was wonderful. He was my prince charming my everything. Our 1 year anniversary was approaching fast. This girl that hurt him now wanted to be his friend again. She only wanted what she couldn't have. I knew it was no good. but I came from a very controlling past relationship so I gave him all my trust all my heart and chose not to control this situation. Even though it hurt so bad to know where it was headed I had to trust him. On my birthday these people chose to hurt me more then anyone could ever hurt someone. They chose to wreck my fairy tale. After pretty much shoving shots down his throat he disappeared for the night..... I knew in my heart what they were doing. They saw a threat and had to destroy me. He woke up in is friends front yard had no idea what had happened. a week later he found out the truth and left me. He left me for a girl who couldn't wait for him. A GAME.
It took alot of soul searching to understand what happened where it all went wrong. How it wasn't my fault. It wasn't that I wasn't skinny enough, or pretty enough. I had to learn that GOOD people don't walk around destroying people because they can. It is people who are so damaged and hateful that do that. So I just continued to be me, moved into a house with a bunch of great girls and began to rebuild myself. How could someone love me if I didn't love myself. I chose to forgive these girls my hate for them would only hurt me in the end. Derrick however started to see them for who they really were, he took off these rose colored glasses. He was devastated that he hurt me. That we were destroyed, he begged for forgiveness, the only way I could do that was if he told the truth all of the truth and said good bye forever to those people. I gave him 3 days to decide or to walk away. I knew he was sorry but we needed to start new that relationship the one we once had was gone but it was FATE that I ran by his house daily for a year before we met. It was me pushing him to succeed to be the best in school ( he graduated top of his major with a 3.998 from CWU)
Day 3 rolled around and he told everything every horrible detail that broke my heart and we started a new, I was hurt for a long time I would never ever forget what happened to me on my birthday that I befriended these people with an open heart to become their little joke. Here is the thing tho, when you forgive you have to let go. I forgave and moved on. with in 6 months we were happily engaged and planning our dream wedding. 3 months into our engagement we were expecting our daughter Lilah. Now the road we chose to travel wasn't easy and there were nights I cried myself to sleep, but it was so worth it. I have been completely madly in love with him for 5 years now and even with that horrible accident I still love him as much if not more. He makes my heart skip a beat. He makes me feel like a teenage girl staring at him while he mows the lawn shirt less.... Sorry TMI. He is my soul mate and even when he gets completely on my nerves I love him.
So after the show he looked at me baffled and told me I don't know how you are so strong and forgiving. I stared at him and said its because I love you. I love you for you and every fault you have. I know you will never walk that dirty road again. I trust you. Yes it was hard but it was so worth it. Jesus forgave me of my sins and every rotten thing I have done so its my calling to forgive them for what they did to me.
So yes I think Tori can work it out with Dean but it will hurt and be painful, she will feel her heart ripped out and left on the floor, but after time every broken piece will get glued back together slowly but it will happen. It will mend and the heart will grow bigger than before. You will learn a new type of love, a love you never knew that existed a compassion and forgiving heart.
Some say I am a fool but he is my everything. I may dislike my birthday but I don't let it destroy me. I am stronger then I ever knew I was. OUR FAIRY TALE is still alive and passionate and amazing. Our love is so warm and trusting you would never known that it took a tiny fall for a whole 30 days.
♡♡♡ LOVE THIS and all the honestly. So brave to put such a personal, honest and hurtful truth out to us all.
ReplyDelete