How does she do it?

Single parents really don't get enough credit. I could never imagine being a single mother. How hard it would be.  I was raised by a single mother and everyday she gave it everything she had. It takes every ounce of strength to do it on your own. There is so much we never think about, when parenting with two parents that they have to do every day by themselves.

I had my first taste of single parenting last spring. As many of you know my husband travels for work and luckily we get him to ourselves Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. I never imagine what it would be like with out him at home. First off I am scared of the dark.... so yeah every light is on when he is gone.  Second I am deathly afraid of spiders so yeah mommy verse spider we will all die and be eaten alive by them. Next I never knew how stinking hard it would be to take a shower.... Okay, so I am still baffled how single moms do it and look amazing, I have no idea how they do it. I swear from April till October I never pooped alone, let alone straighten my hair.... It was rough season.... I was not looking my best.

Having a  second child made it impossible to breathe.  The vast amount of house work, and normal daily tasks at hand are draining. I literally felt exhausted after the first week... so coffee and diet coke became my best friend. Praying for the strength and energy just to make it till bed time. These thing I never imagined how hard they would be. I never thought at the end of the day I couldn't say "Hey babe can you bathe the babies for me?" He wasn't home there was no one else that was going to help me. No one to watch the kids for a bit while I take a mommy breather no one to say "Hey love I will watch one of the kids so you can go to the store with out utter chaos." No one to help until the weekend but even then with all of his traveling he was exhausted. I would be too if my flight arrived at 11 pm Friday night and being jet lagged all day Saturday and Sunday church then some family time. Then 5 am Monday morning  back on a plane. It would be extremely exhausting.

My days became more then I ever imagined. It was nothing like I had pictured two kids to be. It was rough having Kaylie as a newborn juggling pediatric visits at Primary Children Hospital, breast feeding and waking up every two hours put my body threw the ringer. From 7 am on Lilah was exploring her world with coloring, being a big sister and playing hard all day every day. It was rough it was a miracle if I could get both babies to nap at the same time. It was always a debate whether to take a shower or a nap. I was beyond exhausted. Trying to never loose my temper because I was tired, was like a flip of a coin. Counting back from 10 turned into counting back from 100. The dream of having a large family began to tremble in my mind. How can I do this? I was extremely scared of what each day would hold. As time went by it got a little easier with feeding times getting further apart I found myself able to get more things done.

I think the hardest part is explaining to Lilah where daddy is and why he is at work. How wonderful he is to support us to make the sacrifice to work so much. To make the ultimate sacrifice and stay in the military. I know that even though she doesn't understand now, she will one day. I long for November till march when I get my husband every day of the week besides when the military gets him. I never knew how much I took advantage and took for granite the time we spend together.

With technology now days facetime and frequent calls it does make it easier then it would of been in the past. I miss him, and sometimes I want a slow down moment. Sometimes I want a romantic weekend with just the two of us but life isn't fair. The time spent with the girls is more of a priority right now. These are many of the reasons I do not work. I can't imagine putting the stress of  Daddy's work and adding in a job for me on the girls. I think it would create some separation anxiety for them with all his traveling. It is hard to put my career on hold but its worth it.


Now days every time I hear someone speak of oh "She's a single mom or dad" I always speak up.... You have no idea how hard their life is and how rewarding it is to be their kids hero! I have this amazing friend that gave me strength in our transition. A proud mother of three she taught me the meaning of multitasking. She gave me hope that it will all be okay. She taught me about balance that I can dedicate time to myself and still be a good mother to my girls. She  looked amazing hair and all, with three beautiful kiddos. Her strength and patience taught me a lot about myself.  I am not that strong, I am only one person but with the help of God, family, and friends they make me a stronger better person when I feel weak and I am forever thankful and grateful for all their help.






Dedicated to my family, husband and Cassie Borders.